Sanity for the Insane?

It's kinda crazy right now and honestly I have no one to rely on right at the moment. For a little while you grow use to relying on something or having someone around or just some kinda support system but it gets ripped away like some kinda band-aid and you're not entirely sure what to do. I have been trying to the best of my abilities to hold myself together but it's like trying to hold glass pieces together with string as hard as you try it doesn't really fit well. This feeling is horrible, the state I have been in is horrible and I have tried to keep it to myself. I've lost a teacher, I've almost lost a friend to suicide for a second time which I can't even talk to them about it who may end up having to stay in a hospital, I lost my job but that almost seems stupid right now but I would welcome the distraction right now. And no one has even noticed I've practically drank myself to sleep for almost a whole week now. It is a darkness and bitterness right now I can't handle. So I do apologize for my rudeness I apologize for the blunt edge in my voice but I won't apologize for keeping things to myself. Not whenever one else not when you finally found some happiness for once. It hurts because no one can help, no one can support no one cares and no one will see. That is a reality I can't escape right. I'm writing for people who will never take the time to read or ever understand. I write because it's all I can do right now to keep a bit of my sanity in check. I'm sorry for everything I can't be prince charming, not when my light has faded.