So I've gotten really lazy about writing these post I know but I have my reasons an I'm going to explain it all now. If anyone is wondering it's because I've been working getting away from the computer. I don't log on secondlife anymore, if I do it's every three weeks or so. I do video game from time to time as well but I've come to learn that while I use to love sl, I no longer have a fond love of it. Since Aspen walked into my life a bit of completion came with it, I started notice the endless amounts of drama the lack of improvement in sl and over all how it doesn't seem to hold my attention anymore. I think we all come to sl searching for something and once we find it the glass shatters reality settles over and we wake up realize that we don't need the crutch any more. I still spend countless hours on skype but that's because I'm on voice with Aspen. We talk everyday and both have become less attached to the digital world. It's been a rather interesting journey yet sadly leads down a path where online friends start to drift away. I feel regret sometimes in the worse way because I realize I feel pity sometimes because I see in them what was once in me, I desire for them to find the happiness as well and a balance between all this crazy that goes on in the digital frontier.
Moving on to my next topic I can tell you about what I have been doing in my real life (I'm managing to find one). Since April me and my love have decided that we are going to workout everyday, get in shape, lose some weight and just overall feel better about ourselves. No more sitting around the computer wishing things would change, it's time to get up and make life happen. Now keep in mind this didn't happen over night for either of us, her and I both have stories of trail and not much success and falling off the path. I know when most people see me they will probably say, "What are you doing? You don't need to lose weight." Well I kinda do I've just gotten good at hiding it, I know I'm not over weight but that doesn't mean that just because I don't weight a hundred plus pounds that I don't get self-conscious issues myself. It's all about feeling comfortable in ones own skin and I don't. I wanna get toned, I wanna look healthy, and I'm really craving on having some abs Aspen would be proud of. I know some would call me vain in this journey but I really don't care this is a life choice. I've been trying for the last seven years and with not much luck but this time around it's different I must say. I've changed the way I talk about this and I wanna share the things I do, tell my story for everyone to find something good about it.
First things first, I don't tell people I'm dieting. No, I've made the choice to eat healthy. This isn't some eat right lose weight then go right back to my nasty habits just because I look the way I wanna. I've come to realize it just doesn't work that way. This is life choice and one you have got to make for yourself, there's no rolling out of bed one day and saying, "Hey, I think I'll workout." It's a total mental rewrite and I can honestly say it's hard. But just changing the way you say things helps, say you're eating healthy exercising because it's good for you and not just because you wanna lose weight. Do it because it's a positive thing in your life! Now for the harder parts of this whole crazy cycle. This is going to be one of the hardest challenges in your life, I know it has been one of mine. There are going to be times when just in the moment of that 40 minute work out you are going to wanna bust down and cry, something about sweating, muscles aching and the pounding of your heart you are going to hit a brick wall hard. Just pause let the emotions flow and cry it out let the chemicals and hormones flow out of you then get back up and push through. There's a huge difference between pausing and quitting. Both me and Aspen have hit these points and they aren't pleasant, worse part is no one can help you through this wall and it's one of the hardest struggles. You are going to feel horrible, not seeing results and question why you are even putting yourself through all the pain. Best things come from the hard roads traveled, push through never give up it does get easier! But I have a great support system with Aspen and she definitely keeps me going and I'm so proud of her for all the crazy things we do. I have been working out since April 23rd every single day expect six days (my sick days and two were because of a injured back, don't kill yourself working out) and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Even though I've only lost 5 pounds since I started, only a inch and half around my waist. I'm going for it this time, it's difference this time around and I do honestly have to thank Aspen for it all. I know this is hard but no way is a little depression going to keep my down.
Extras - Change the way you speak! Get a calender and play don't break the chain, this is were you set the lowest amount of time you wanna workout in a single day and as long as you do that you earn a "X" for the day then after days you start to build a chain across your calender. I set a alarm on my cell phone to remind me to work out, mind goes off everyday at 4:15 with the message "Work out...you fat bastard." Works in its own strange way. Don't measure yourself everyday, save that for the end of the week. You'll mentally wear yourself down checking the numbers every single day. And lastly every Friday or Saturday I go into the bathroom take my shirt off and take a picture of myself in the mirror. This is so I can note the changes in my body, I've been doing this every single week and it forces me to look at myself and look myself in the eyes and say I wanna change this. Don't let it discourage you! Build from it, I'm going to change my body!! I hope any of these tips helps people and me and Aspen are easy enough to get a hold of for any help.
